I'm so tired. I'm using Lactose Free milk as my safe food at the moment because it doesn't make me feel sick, it's filling and it's not majorly high in calories. Also there's such a thing as the Milk Diet so it can't be all bad.
Feel really sick this morning so had a glass of milk, was also feeling weak last night, I was about to go eat!!! So I had some milk then too and it helped.
Off to work now..
Later . . .
Well, now two colleagues know I don't eat. LE walked in and saw me sitting out back: What you doing?
Me: It's my lunch break.
LE: Yeah, but what you doing?
Me: Having my lunch break.
LE: Are you not gonna eat?
Me: I'm not hungry.
LE: Yeah but does that mean you aren't gonna eat anything?
Me: I'm just not hungry.
LE: But does that mean you're not eating?
Me: Look, I don't want lunch okay?
LE: Okay.... You know it's unhealthy right?
Me: Psh yeah, not like that hadn't been said to me before.
LE: Yet you're sitting there with no lunch, so it needs to be said again, and again, and again.... (Leaves).
Hurrah. And he's basically the assistant manager so what if he tells my boss? I mean my boss knows I have issues, he knows about my depression and aspergers and stuff but this is something that risks my health so what if he fires me for it? I'll lose the best job I've ever had, I'll lose being part of an amazing team....
But I'm so fucking fat.....
Later . . .
I want to be healed... As in I want this demon inside me to stop restricting me so much... I want to live my life and enjoy it, I've only got one..
I mean.... Maybe I shouldn't be starting this stuff so close to Christmas..
No comments:
Post a Comment