Thursday, 14th January, 2016

Breakfast:

Muller Light Toffee Yogurt (90)

3 Dry Crackers (110)

Total: 200

So I WOULD have passed yesterday, but the recipe book lied. We had a "300kcal meal" but we left out the potatoes, so me and ma put it into a recipe calculator to see how much under 300 it was.

IT WAS FUCKING 400+ CALORIES!!!!

Now, to most people 100kcal is nothing. To people who get to eat what they want and not feel like shoving their fingers down their throats, 100kcal extra is nothing.

But when I'm trying to help myself by actually EATING SOMETHING rather than starving myself, when I'm counting calories exactly so that I can feel okay about putting shit in my mouth it is not fucking okay

So yeah, I don't know what to class yesterday as.

Later . . . 

Lunch:

Vegetable Soup (67)

1 Milk Bottle Sweet (15)

Total: 82

Alan Rickman died... 

Man, he was a part of my childhood, the Harry Potter films..... 

Trying not to cry right now.

Later . . .

Snack:

Special K Biscuit Moments (98)

2 Milk Bottle Sweets (30)

Total: 128

Dinner: 

400g Tomato Soup (204)

1 Dry Cracker (35)

Total: 239

DAY TOTAL: 649

Wednesday, 13th January, 2016

Breakfast:

Müller Light Strawberry Yogurt (90)

3 Dry Crackers (110)

Total: 200

I binged yesterday. It was shit. Nice restaurant though. 

No work today thank god, the bosses cancelled, so I'm gonna run a few errands in town to try and keep me from bingeing again.

Later . . .

Lunch:

400g Chicken Noodle Soup (126)

1 Mini Meringue (19)

500ml Pepsi Max (2)

Total: 149

Doing well today, been for a walk around town, and I checked out the new gym. It's a pretty decent atmosphere, so I'll see if I can head down there sometime this week, maybe after work some day?

We'll see...

Tuesday, 12th January, 2016

Breakfast:
Muller Light Strawberry Yogurt (90)
3 Dry rackers (110)
Total: 200

I've decided to stick with routine today, and just order a side salad at the restaurant tonight. That'll definitely be under 200kcal, so I'll be well within the limits for today.

I did quickly jump on the scale this morning... I have literally lost nothing...
At least the gym is open today, I'm going to check it out after work tomorrow and, if I like the atmosphere and feel comfortable, I'll start planning my work out days.

Monday, 11th January, 2016

Disaster!!!! I don't know what to do!!!!

I thought my morning hot chocolate was 145 because that's what I found on all those calorie websites but in the coffee shop this morning I glanced at the board to see ITS 178KCAL?!?!?! 

What do I do?! Do I class the last two days as fails then? I thought I was doing so well oh my god I don't know what to do.....

Later . . .

Breakfast: 

Short Soy Milk Hot Chocolate (145)

2 Marshmallows (50)

Total: 195

Turns out I was being stupid, it said 178 on the board because that was with regular milk. I'm lactose intolerant so I get soy milk.

Shit happened at work today, so I left early at 12:30, and stayed in bed until 5pm. Just, there's a lot of things going on at the moment, so I had plenty of calories left over for dinner as I hadn't eaten anything since breakfast.

Snack:

Special K Red Berry Bar (84)

Total: 84

Dinner:

Creamy Spinach Pasta (338)

Müller Light Cherry Yogurt (84)

Dry Cracker (35)

Total: 457

DAY TOTAL: 736

Dinner was good. Mother cut down my calories as much as she could, taking out the bacon bits and only giving me 100g cooked pasta. I'm having a yogurt for dessert and a dry cracker to nibble on.

Tomorrow we're going out for dinner. I don't know whether to save my calories or just eat as normal...

Sunday, 10th January, 2016

Breakfast:
Short Soy Milk Hot Chocolate (145)
2 Marshmallows (50)
Total: 195

At Christmas, my ma bought me two checkered shirts. I've avoided trying them on up until now, however last night I finally did...

They were too small...
And one of them was a UK size 10....

I have never ever been a double digit size before.. It hurt, it really fucking hurt. I told her to take them back and just get me a dressing gown or something. Something that won't show how fat I am. I mean, yes I knew I was overweight, I knew I was fat, but I just.... Didn't realise quite how bad it was....
No way am I bingeing now. Every time I get the urge I'm just going to picture that size 10 shirt, with my stomach causing it to pull at the buttons...

I kind of want to eat less.. But at the same time, when doing diets like this, I like to keep as close to the calorie allowance of each day as possible, because the way I see it, these diets are MADE that way in order to maximise weight loss.
I'll keep going as I am, sticking to the limits, and we'll see how that goes.

Thank god weigh day isn't until 31st...

Later . . .
Snack:
2 Marshmallows (50)
Total: 50

Lunch:
1 Mug Vegetable Soup (67)
Muller Light Strawberry Yogurt (90)
Total: 157

Doing well so far.
I use the Blogger app to make these blogs, so that's why they're pretty plain. It doesn't really let you colour-code, change font size or anything... It's a shame, because I look at the blogs of people like MeInTwistedWonderland and think how nice it would be to have a beautifully laid out blog.

Anyway, I'm practically living off soups and liquids at the moment - Hot chocolate for breakfast, soup for lunch, and soup for dinner - so I'm quite pleased with that. I like soup. It's warm and comforting, it takes a while to eat (you can't just wolf it down without burning your mouth), a lot of it is low calorie, and it often tastes great!

The vegetable soup I'm having today is a little questionable, however...

Later . . .

Dinner:

Chicken Stir Fry (396)

2 Marshmallows (50)

Pepsi Max (2)

Total: 448

DAY TOTAL: 850

Exactly on point today! I didn't eat my afternoon snack because I was preoccupied at work, so I had an extra 100kcal for dinner tonight, meaning I was able to join my family for a stir fry meal. 

Actually feel a little sick having a solid meal...

Saturday, 9th January, 2016

Back on track now, no more bingeing. My parents want to take me out for dinner on Tuesday, my next day off, which is great because thinking about it all day will stop me bingeing. Then, I'm going into work on Wednesday, my other day off, and my new day off is Saturday and my parents will be home so I won't binge again! Perfect.

Breakfast:

Short Soy Milk Hot Chocolate, No Cream (145)

2 Marshmallows (50)

Total: 195

Later . . .

Lunch:

1 Mug Leek and Potato Soup (60)

1 Müller Light Toffee Yogurt (90)

Total: 150

Later . . .

Dinner:

400g Carrot and Coriander Soup (168)

1 Slice Seeded Bread (152)

1 Dry Cracker (35)

Total: 355

DAY TOTAL: 798

Friday, 8th January, 2016

Breakfast:

Curly Wurly Chocolate Bar (118)

2 Dry Crackers (70)

Total: 188

Ugh another day off...... I always binge on my days off...... Trying so hard not to.

Later . . .

Failed.