Like seriously, I'm so conflicted.
Part of me wants to lose weight for my birthday, but the other part of me wants to quit dieting until AFTER my birthday...
Bingeing on pizza and ice cream today, but then I don't know whether to start restricting again starting tomorrow, in order to lose some weight for my birthday.
On the one hand, if I lose weight for my birthday, then worst case scenario is that on my 4 day birthday bonanza I'll only gain back what I lost.
On the other hand, I seem to be pretty steady with my weight, even when I binge I don't seem to gain much more than 1-2kg which is mostly food and water weight, and I'm pretty sure regardless of how much I eat I tend to plateau at 80kg, so if I did say no to dieting until after my birthday, then it's not like I would gain an extra 20kg, and I naturally have days where I don't eat much anyway, especially after bingeing.
But back onto the first hand, if I do diet up to my birthday, it'll prepare me not only for dieting AFTER, but will also prepare me for my crazy "The Year Of Bones" diet for 2018.
BUT back onto the OTHER hand, my birthday weekend will finish on the 17th September, so I'll have more than 3 months to get back on track before TYOB starts on 1st January.
....
Things would be so much easier if I had a friend to actually support me through this, like someone I could use to escape from dinners and such, someone who could help me figure this plan out, someone to be like "Don't binge, you know it'll only make you upset, have some fruit instead or some fruit tea!" Like, I know I'll never find a friend who will tell me NOT to eat, but it'd be real nice to have someone to stop me eating TOO MUCH, yknow? Someone not necessarily to tell me to starve, but someone to say "look, you're being dumb, you wanna eat everything right now but afterwards you're just gonna hate yourself" things like "you've lost x amount so far, don't mess it up now, have something healthy and don't order Dominos."
God if I could have that, someone who understands they can't force me to eat MORE, but who can make sure that the actual THINGS I'm eating are actually valid and sustainable things, and not pizza and ice cream or shit like that, someone to actually be like "I want you to eat more but I don't want you to binge and get upset, so just have something healthy or small"
Ugh I'm just kind of splurging brain juice out here, but that'd be cool, to have that someone. And omg it'd be even better to have a friend like "DUDE I know you're not eating more than x calories a day right now so I found this meal/recipe/snack/drink that's only x calories each/per serving/per 100ml/etc!!"
Cause lord knows I'm shit. I just find something and eat the same things over and over. Like when I was restricting before, I literally lived on rice cakes (29), crispbreads (19) and blueberries (2) because I knew all the calories and knew it wasn't much.
I don't cook at all, because I just don't know how to make something filling and yummy for less than like 200-300kcal, and all the super low cal recipes I DO find use crazy ingredients like Konjac Flour and american stuff.....
*sigh* Not sure what to do tomorrow.... continue to eat or restrict? I just don't know anymore.
Part of me wants to lose weight for my birthday, but the other part of me wants to quit dieting until AFTER my birthday...
Bingeing on pizza and ice cream today, but then I don't know whether to start restricting again starting tomorrow, in order to lose some weight for my birthday.
On the one hand, if I lose weight for my birthday, then worst case scenario is that on my 4 day birthday bonanza I'll only gain back what I lost.
On the other hand, I seem to be pretty steady with my weight, even when I binge I don't seem to gain much more than 1-2kg which is mostly food and water weight, and I'm pretty sure regardless of how much I eat I tend to plateau at 80kg, so if I did say no to dieting until after my birthday, then it's not like I would gain an extra 20kg, and I naturally have days where I don't eat much anyway, especially after bingeing.
But back onto the first hand, if I do diet up to my birthday, it'll prepare me not only for dieting AFTER, but will also prepare me for my crazy "The Year Of Bones" diet for 2018.
BUT back onto the OTHER hand, my birthday weekend will finish on the 17th September, so I'll have more than 3 months to get back on track before TYOB starts on 1st January.
....
Things would be so much easier if I had a friend to actually support me through this, like someone I could use to escape from dinners and such, someone who could help me figure this plan out, someone to be like "Don't binge, you know it'll only make you upset, have some fruit instead or some fruit tea!" Like, I know I'll never find a friend who will tell me NOT to eat, but it'd be real nice to have someone to stop me eating TOO MUCH, yknow? Someone not necessarily to tell me to starve, but someone to say "look, you're being dumb, you wanna eat everything right now but afterwards you're just gonna hate yourself" things like "you've lost x amount so far, don't mess it up now, have something healthy and don't order Dominos."
God if I could have that, someone who understands they can't force me to eat MORE, but who can make sure that the actual THINGS I'm eating are actually valid and sustainable things, and not pizza and ice cream or shit like that, someone to actually be like "I want you to eat more but I don't want you to binge and get upset, so just have something healthy or small"
Ugh I'm just kind of splurging brain juice out here, but that'd be cool, to have that someone. And omg it'd be even better to have a friend like "DUDE I know you're not eating more than x calories a day right now so I found this meal/recipe/snack/drink that's only x calories each/per serving/per 100ml/etc!!"
Cause lord knows I'm shit. I just find something and eat the same things over and over. Like when I was restricting before, I literally lived on rice cakes (29), crispbreads (19) and blueberries (2) because I knew all the calories and knew it wasn't much.
I don't cook at all, because I just don't know how to make something filling and yummy for less than like 200-300kcal, and all the super low cal recipes I DO find use crazy ingredients like Konjac Flour and american stuff.....
*sigh* Not sure what to do tomorrow.... continue to eat or restrict? I just don't know anymore.
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