Numbers Nightmare

So my stepdad was going to make Lasagne today. I love his Lasagne, it's the only one I'll actually eat, and it tastes incredible.

Well, as I have a calorie limit now due to the ABC diet, I thought hey, let's work out the calories....

Oh god.

Ragu
3 tbsp Olive Oil	357
3 tbsp Butter	306
2 Large Onions	120
4 Celery Sticks	24
175g Diced Bacon	729.75
2 Garlic Cloves	10
500g Minced Beef	1660
2 tbsp Tomato Puree	12
1 tbsp Plain Flour	28
400g Chopped Tomatoes Can	128
150ml Beef Stock	400.5
150ml Red Wine	128.4
2 tsp Dried Oregano	10
1/2 tsp Grated Nutmeg	5.5
Salt and Pepper	0
TOTAL	3919.15
Lasagne
1 tbsp olive oil	119
250g Lasagne Verde	865
50g Parmesan Cheese	215.5
Salt and Pepper	0
Grated Cheese	402
Mushrooms	22
Carrots	41
+ Bechamel	1116
+ Ragu	3919.15
TOTAL	6699.65
Bechamel Sauce
300ml Milk (semi skimmed)	141
2 Bay Leaves	6
3 Cloves	12
1 Small Onion	28
50g butter	358
6 tbsp plain flour	168
300ml single cream	399
pinch of nutmeg	4
salt and pepper	0
TOTAL	1116

IT'S LIKE 6700kcal FOR THE WHOLE FRIKKIN THING. And what's even worse is I normally eat 1/4 of it...

1/16	1/8	1/4	1/2
418.728125	837.45625	1674.9125	3349.825

WITHOUT KNOWING, EVERY TIME I HAVE THIS LASAGNE I'M EATING 1675kcal!!!! What the actual fuck.

I am sickened.

I told my ma I was going out with a friend tonight (I'm not, I'm just gonna go to a café and do some drawing), but I'm worried they'll be like "Oh we'll just make it tomorrow".....

I am NOT eating that disgusting mess of calories.