Jan 1st 2018 - TYOB Day 1

Weight: 151.1lb

4pm
I feel super shit today. The urge to binge is so strong, and depression is really bad today. However, it’s already 4pm and I haven’t eaten anything, so the fast is going well at least.

I’m stocked up on water, Pepsi Max, Sprite Zero and sparkling water, and I’m just drinking as much as possible.

And so it begins...

New Beginnings

#ProudPost

I’m really nervous but also excited.

I’ve been stepping out of my comfort zone more and more recently, and this NYE I’ve taken a big step.

I have never been away from my parents as I transition into a New Year, and due to Aspergers I usually stick to my traditions and what I know.

However, this year, I’m going on the train on my own (scary thing 1), up to Orpington in the evening (scary thing 2), And am spending the night with some people I’ve recently met (scary thing 3)

Train tickets have been purchased, it is official.

Not only that, but one of the 3 people I’ll be with is someone who likes me, and who I’ve been gradually getting close to.... I haven’t gotten close to anyone in about 4 years since my ex, and I don’t actually know how I feel about this guy he kinda frazzles my brain! But I told him I’d like to try a platonic movie cuddling night with him.......

I haven’t cuddled up to anyone but my mum in 4 years..... I have explained to him that I might hate it and say no and been very clear about my boundaries, but he’s just been so understanding and respectful about every part of my mental health so far!

He’s even said he’ll help me stop bingeing and reach my ultimate goal weight because he knows it’ll make me happy! He’s just so..... accepting. And caring but without being overwhelming and overbearing.

So I will be starting 2018 off in a completely and utterly new way to how I’ve ever done it before.....!

And yknow what? I’m scared.

... but I’m pretty proud too!

A Good Run

Weight: 138.9

Well that was a good run.
Tuesday 5th - Fasted
Wednesday 6th - Fasted
Thursday 7th - 82kcal
Friday 8th - Fasted
Saturday 9th - Fasted
Sunday 10th - Fasted
Monday 11th - Fasted
Tuesday 12th - Fasted
Wednesday 13th - Fasted
Today - 270kcal

I have so much more control now, and as of tonight I am 32 days binge free!

I’ve decided to eat for a few days at least, 200-500 calories or less, as people at work are getting suspicious.

Sunday 3rd December 2017

Weight: Don’t know

I can’t weigh every day sadly, so tomorrow will be my next weigh in (I hope!)

I haven’t eaten more than 300 the past two days - today was only 64kcal and that was my calendar chocolates in the evening!

I’m really hoping that tomorrow I will be 150lb / 68kg because that’s my first goal! I’m planning to get my nails done as a reward once I reach it, so I really want that to be done in time for christmas!

I’m also super close to being out of the obese category - I THINK it’s 148lb / 67kg that I need to get to to be out of that category, so I’m super close!!

Also, 21 days binge free! 3 weeks! Which also means I’m halfway to Christmas, because that’ll be 42 days binge free!

fingers crossed for my weigh in tomorrow!

Fate Says No

Plans to order sushi
Plans to eat some food
Still under 1,000
Should be pretty good

Go onto the website
Type my postcode in
Look for sushi restaurant
For my din din din

Website says "Closed" for sushi
Guess I'll fast today
At least I'll lose some extra weight
Hooray, hip-hip-hooray!

Tuesday 28th November 2017

Weight: 154.4lb / 70kg

So I was going to do a max of 500 today but I felt VERY binge-y around lunch time, and rather than risk bingeing (There was bread and cheese in the house - major binge foods for me!), I decided to raise my limit to 1,000 and have a cheese sandwich for lunch.

The way I see it, it's my day off so I can spend a few hours on my bike if I want, and even if I don't I should still lose weight. Also, by having a cheese sandwich (with tomato sauce), I got to taste what I would have binged on!

I'm now on my 16th day binge free, and I can't remember if I said this already, but if I make it to Christmas without bingeing then I'm allowed to have Christmas Day as a "free day", which means no calorie counting and it means if I want to eat nearer 2,000 then I can.

I'm also now 154.4lb, which is a BMI of 31.1 and I am SO CLOSE to being out of the Obese BMI Category! Once I reach 148.4lb / 67.3kg I will be BMI 29.9 and will be OVERWEIGHT AND NOT OBESE.

I'm so close.

Saturday 25th November 2017

Weight: 155.5lb / 70.5kg

So I've been trying to eat a bit more "normally" this week (still under 1,000 a day though) because my ma was getting worried, and I don't like to worry her, even though she won't force me to do anything.

Also, work is kicking up. Retail work during Christmas time is pretty unforgiving, and I can't afford to be weak and sick over the Christmas period. So I'm trying to eat around 500-1000 a day instead of just not eating (which is what I really want to do).

Weight loss has slowed due to this, but I'm hoping I'll still continue to lose with this higher restriction.

Fingers crossed!

Later . . .
Oh my god I'm so close. 985kcal burned, I've been on my bike for like 4 hours now. I'm past my total for today (882), so I'm already on a negative net.

I want to be able to say I burned 1,000kcal.... I've never done that in one sitting before.... I'm so fucking tired and I haven't had any water all day so I'm so dehydrated but god I'm so close. I can barely type it's taking all my focus!!

995 now... FUCK IM SO CLOSE.
Legit typing this as I'm riding and watching the calorie count go up.
998... I can feel my heart
999..
FUCKING DID IT
1,000 FUCKING CALORIES OH MY GOD.
Took me like 4.5 hours but fucking hell I did it.
Fuck
I'm so tired.
I'm gonna go shower now.
I'm all gross and sweaty.
And then I'm gonna get water and go to bed.

I did it.